The Punisher (1989)

Dolph Lundgren as "Frank Castle"
Louis Gossett Jr. as "Jake Berkowitz"
Jeroen Krabbé as "Gianni Franco"
Kim Miyori as "Lady Tanaka"
Nancy Everhard as "Sam Leary"
Barry Otto as "Shake"

Written by Boaz Yakin
Directed by Mark Goldblatt

I'm going to be brutally honest. "The Punisher" is my least favorite movie of all time. (Editor's note-7.16.02: actually, that distinction now belongs to Britney Spears' Crossroads.)

Those of you who have read Oh! The Humanity's user reviews might have stumbled upon an earlier review I wrote about this movie. Sure, it was much less polished, and fairly brief, but concise in its venomous hatred toward that vile piece of celluloid. As far as Marvel movies went, I was sure it was the worst; a gross miscarriage of a classic Marvel character. It was no surprise, in that case, when everyone thought I was insane for buying such a horrible movie on DVD years later (for ten dollars; what a rip!), after I have over and again touted my hatred for the film. I just told them that I wanted to have the best and worst of film in my collection.

And of course, after buying it, you wouldn't expect me to let it go unwatched, would you? Not at all. And so, after several failed attempts to watch the entire film, I finally bit the bullet and sat my behind down to watch the steaming pile of dung in its entirety. And maybe...just maybe, it's not as bad as I had previously thought.

It's still not very good, and I still don't like it.

But as I watched, I thought a little more about the Punisher - not just the movie, but the character as well. It occurred to me, finally, to ask: is the Punisher really that deep a character? Is he really worth a better movie? Artisan Entertainment is banking on it. They've got the Marvel Universe's most popular psychotic optioned for another flick down the road. But...is he worth it?

To understand the cinematic roadblock that is "The Punisher," we must first understand the Punisher character and his origins. You see, when the Punisher first appeared, it was a much different time. It was fifteen years before the film's release, in 1974. The character was originally conceived by writer Gerry Conway as a one-time villain for The Amazing Spider-Man, and tricked into targeting the wall-crawler. But far from being a one-timer, Punisher grew popular enough to merit more guest appearances, and even an origin story. He was Frank Castle, an ex-Marine whose family was mercilessly gunned down by mobsters for seeing something they should not have seen. Castle was the lone survivor of the attack, and swore revenge against the killers, and against all crime, as the Punisher, a black-clad angel of death bearing a death's head on his chest.

The Punisher finally came into his own in the '80s. Comics heroes adopted darker attitudes, and their environments became grittier to match. The Punisher already had this going for him, and his guest status had kept him hot enough to survive into the '80s. Marvel decided to give him his own limited series, which was a huge success. Finally, the House of Ideas began a Punisher ongoing comic series. And then another. And a third. By the early '90s, our man Castle was overexposed. Marvel responded by cancelling his book, sending him to kill Nick Fury, turning him into a wanted fugitive, giving him a new book, cancelling it, killing him, turning him into a supernatural demon-hunter, and bringing him back to his crime-hunting roots. That the character's most recent incarnation is still fresh is more of a testament to the creative team of writer Garth Ennis and artist Steve Dillon, rather than the character itself. When you think about it, other writers haven't really been able to mine much depth from the character.

Think of the movie as a really bad issue of the comic book, made worse by the fact that there is no costume, no cool van, and no tech-wizard sidekick. Now put Dolph Lundgren in the lead role.

Now I don't think the Punisher and Batman are very different characters to play. They may be insane, but they are practical men. They both see their respective wars against crime as deeply personal, and they are incredibly meticulous, and of course, obsessive. There is pain there; I mean, both of them had their families shot and killed before their eyes. The right script could highlight that pain, and the right actor could bring it to the surface. In this case, we have neither, nor do we have the right director, or right anything for that matter. I mean, the Punisher isn't completely shallow, just sort of tired after years of overexposure. There could have been flashes of dark humor, an effective sense of deadly professionalism, a sense of weariness at a war that will never truly end, even after he is dead. You see, Punisher knows that one day, someone will get lucky and bust a cap in his head. He's almost counting on it. He wants to be free from his war, so that he can be with his family once again.

There's no sense in quibbling too much now. Someone should have said all of this ten years ago, before they made this movie.

Now about the actual movie...

What we have here is a generic action plot that sees the Punisher (here an ex-cop, rather than an ex-Marine) caught in the middle of a war between the New York mob, led by Gianni Franco, and the incoming Japanese Yakuza, headed by the deadly Lady Tanaka. I guess one side has to be good, and the other a lot more evil, so the Yakuza kidnaps the children of Franco's top men, as well as Franco's own son. Yes, there is blood, and lots of it. There are many big action set-pieces, and a lot of gory deaths. Thankfully, these sequences keep the film moving at an even pace. At the center of it, Dolph is there, looking as blank as ever. He's in top form while fighting and shooting, but he makes this character seem so boring. Aren't live-action adaptations all about bringing characters to life? Give two of the biggest characters of the '80s (let's not forget He-Man) to Dolph, and he brings them to death.

The rest of the cast is your standard B-action cast, though Gossett is agreeable as Castle's ex-partner Berkowitz, who believes that Castle - thought dead in the car bombing (yes, car bombing) that killed his family - is alive and kicking as the Punisher. The other standout is Krabbé, who makes Gianni Franco a convincingly human villain, morally bankrupt, yet willing to fight side by side with Castle to save his son's life. The guy is always a pleasure to watch.

In the end, how much is there to say? It's a bad movie, but it's not completely unwatchable. For a B-action flick, you might actually find it worth a rental. Maybe. I don't know. I still can't believe I bought the blasted DVD. I'm going to need time to forgive myself for that one.

6.30.01