Josie and the Pussycats (2001)

Rachael Leigh Cook as "Josie McCoy" 
Rosario Dawson as "Valerie Brown"
Tara Reid as "Melody Valentine"
Alan Cumming as "Wyatt Frame"
Parker Posey as "Fiona"
Gabriel Mann as "Alan M." 

Directed by Harry Elfont and Deborah Kaplan (also credited as writers)

Do you know what I find funny? Studios will look anywhere for any property that even remotely smells of success. Nowhere is this more apparent than in comic book adaptations. Look at Artisan Entertainment. Not only do they hold the film licenses to Captain America and The Punisher, they've fast-tracked one of Marvel's cheesiest kung fu heroes, Iron Fist, into development. They've even signed Ray Park (Star Wars: Episode I, X-Men) in the title role. Then there's Melissa Joan Hart, who decided to mine the least used property in comics, the Archie brand, and acquired the rights to Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. The character headlines a hit television show now, and I'm sure Hollywood wondered how to capitalize on this small screen success. This is when someone must have been watching old Cartoon Network reruns of "Josie and the Pussycats," and decided that this Archie property might work as a feature film.

I followed the development news with interest, mainly because I'm an Archie fan. I grew up reading the digests, enjoying the adventures of Archie and his friends, along with Sabrina, That Wilkin Boy, and of course, Josie and the Pussycats. I was actually kind of jazzed to see this movie, until I saw the commercials. Needless to say, the movie didn't look like anything for me. Then I remembered "Clueless," and how that seemed the same way. I was still jazzed to see that upon its initial release, however, and I figured, why not give Josie a try?

Once the movie started, I realized how much I actually wanted to see these characters come to life. I wanted this movie to be, at the very least, a literal translation of the comics I held so dear in my childhood.

As they say, you get what you wish for.

"Josie and the Pussycats" opens with a hilarious prologue revolving around the boy band of the moment, Du Jour (ironic humor, that's a good sign). Set to depart on a world tour, the band performs their hit song "Backdoor Lover" (I couldn't quite believe this one.) amidst a throng of screaming fans. (They even sing the Entertainment Tonight theme while being interviewed by Jann Carl; I like!) As they fly toward their next destination, Riverdale, the group argues over who copied whose facial expressions, and other silly topics. Their squabbles are ended when one of the members asks their promoter, Wyatt Frame, about a curious background track on one of their songs. Frame promptly decides to bail on his act, and along with the pilot, they leave Du Jour to die in a horrible plane crash.

Flash forward to Riverdale, where Josie, Valerie, and Melody, collectively known as the Pussycats, play to less than packed bowling alleys and other small venues. Lead singer and guitarist Josie worries that they might never make it, but bassist Val, being the strong moral center of the group, assures Josie that their time will soon come. She's right: while crossing the street with their instruments one night, the Pussycats are nearly hit by Wyatt Frame, who is desperately searching for a new act to replace Du Jour. The Pussycats seem like they'd look good on a CD cover, and Wyatt is quick to sign them.without listening to them play beforehand. Seems suspicious, doesn't it?

But this appears to be the chance the Pussycats are waiting for, and they embrace it whole-heartedly. Soon, the girls fly off to the big city, where they are already being touted as the next big thing (and billed as Josie and the Pussycats). From the start, Val wonders why Josie has been pushed to the front, while Josie is riddled with doubt as to how the public will receive them. Josie needn't be worried, because Wyatt and his boss Fiona have engineered a government-funded scheme to control the youth of America toward mass consumption of the latest trends, all thanks to subliminal messages embedded within the Pussycats' music. This pretty much assures the Pussycats' success, but only as long as they don't ask questions, which they inevitably do. Wyatt and Fiona respond by setting into motion plans to separate Josie from the rest of the band, in order to ensure the success of their master plan.

So, how was the movie, you ask?

Well, in terms of substance, it does come up short, but come on; this is "Josie and the Pussycats." While the film aspires to be a clever, knowing parody of the rampant commercialism that has conquered the music world, it doesn't always succeed, leaving the cast to keep the film moving at some points. Some of the gags hit their mark, while others fall considerably short. There are some jokes that try to be subtle, but are too obvious (and even completely off, such as Alexandra's "Mr. Moviefone" joke). Speaking of obvious, the movie contains countless instances of product placement. I swear it's a record for most advertisements in a single motion picture. I found it funny at first, but after a while, it gets tiring, even sickening for some (too many Target, Pizza Hut, AOL, Sega, etc. ads).

The movie's greatest strength comes from Cumming's performance as Wyatt Frame. He plows through his scenes with oily gusto, and from his very first scene, his energy is what keeps things going. He also gets the most pop-referential dialogue; for example, when it is time to jettison Du Jour, he uses a lyric from "American Pie" as his code phrase.

His companion is Fiona, played bravely by Parker Posey. I use the word "bravely" because Fiona is the most badly written character in the film. It's bad enough that most of the characters are one-dimensional to begin with; Fiona is not only an insane and style-challenged one-note villainess, she has the stupidest dialogue as well. Posey has lots of energy that she throws into her part, and she really tries, but it just doesn't come together.

As for our heroines, all three Pussycats throw equal amounts of spunk into their roles. Cook is admirable as Josie, the lead singer overwhelmed by stardom but not sure what to make of it. Dawson plays Val as the group's strength, holding everyone together, until she starts to believe she may be expendable to the rest of the band. Tara Reid, however, is the funniest of the Pussycats, playing naïve and dimwitted drummer Melody entirely for laughs. In fact, I'd have to say that her performance is the second strongest here, behind Cumming. She goes for every laugh, and keeps her character consistent throughout the picture. While all three of the Pussycats lend a considerable amount of energy to their roles, the problem is that their characters are a little flat to begin with. It certainly isn't the actresses' collective fault; it's just that we're dealing with Archie characters here (and don't tell me Sabrina is an exception). They never possessed much depth to begin with, a problem enhanced by the script, which de-emphasizes character for the sake of attempted satire and formula. The story is pretty predictable, and the romantic subplot between Josie and old friend Alan M. (Gabriel Mann, who looks a lot like Keanu Reeves) seems tacked on for the sole purpose of including a character from the comics.

This is another problem with the script. It brings in characters that aren't needed for the sake of remaining "true" to the comic. This is true not only of Alan M., but also the band's "manager" Alexander Cabot (Paulo Costanzo) and his sister Alexandra (Missi Pyle). In fact, when asked why she's there, Alexandra answers, "I'm here because I was in the comic book." Well, you have to hand it to the writers for being honest.

But Archie comics are guilty of the same sin. They contain bland characters and formulaic, hackneyed plots, but the formula has become so ingrained into this Archie fanboy's psyche that I can tolerate it, and even look past it and see a fun movie lying beneath. Sure, there are the requisite "be yourself," "friendship forever" and "follow your heart" messages, (and the ending hits the audience over the head with those messages) and there are critics who dislike the movie, but I had fun. At the very least, it's a literal translation of the Archie stories (only with some "language and sensuality"). But those looking for something with more meat (and more of Alan Cumming), perhaps you should see "Spy Kids." I think I'll see that next week.