Breakin' (1984)

Lucinda Dickey as "Kelly/Special K"
Adolfo "Shabba-Doo" Quinones as "Ozone"
Michael "Boogaloo Shrimp" Chambers as "Turbo"
Phineas Newborn III as "Adam"
Christopher McDonald as "James"
Ben Lokey as "Franco"

Directed by Joel Silberg

Breakdancing movies. You know you watched them back in the day, and even if you didn't, you might have watched one of them on TBS or something. They're a guilty pleasure, pieces of hilariously dated cinematic record from the '80s, and by watching them, we pay lip service to our childhood nostalgia. Ashamed as some of us can be to admit it, we grew up in that decade, and it wasn't all He-Man and Family Ties. It was also Beastmaster, American Ninja, and Breakin'.

Breakin' is the story of Kelly (Lucinda Dickey), a waitress who dreams of being a dancer. One day, her (overly effeminate) friend Adam introduces her to his friends, Ozone and Turbo, and she immediately gets an introduction into the world of breakdancing. The plot is quite simple. Ozone and Turbo need help taking on their archfoes, Electro Rock, on the dance floor, especially after Electro Rock recruits a female breakdancer to humiliate them in a club battle. Kelly joins her newfound friends, learns how to adapt her formal training in order to learn poplocking and breakdancing, and then it's on. But of course, we also have the required subplots with Kelly and Ozone falling for each other, Kelly and her agent (Christopher McDonald) working to ensure her future in dance, and then the last act, which has Kelly and her friends competing for fame, fortune, and a shot at shutting up Kelly's scumbag of a former dance instructor, Franco.

My, this movie is laughable. Honestly, it's pretty bad, but in a good way. Breakin' is the stuff of legend, one of the greatest B-movies in existence. Everything in it, from story to dialogue to outfits, and of course, acting, are sure to draw guffaws. Breakin' can be used for drinking games, B-movie marathons, or late night bouts of insomnia (you'll get tired out from laughing; the movie isn't boring, though). It's bad, but inoffensively so (though I've been told that Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo is much, much worse). Personally, I feel I could watch it again.

The acting is pretty bad all around, with the exception of Christopher McDonald as Kelly's agent, James. McDonald is one of the better character actors around, most commonly playing a smarmy slime, is pretty watchable as an agent with a heart of gold. McDonald is one of the only people in this movie that I could tell had a career after this movie. The other is Ice-T, who would go on to appear in the sequel before embarking upon an ultra-successful recording career.

The real draw, however, is the dancing. It's a lot of fun to watch, though I'm no authority. Still, it's all very funny...you see, if Breakin' and Cedric the Entertainer are right, back in the day (heh), people fought in clubs by dancing. I guess it can be believed; after all, I've read about underground rap battles too. Still, the battles here are just...man, it's so silly! These guys get so hyped up, like they're about to tear each other apart, then all of a sudden, they start dancing like madmen. Trust me, these scenes are very fun to watch. There's also a pretty cool scene where Turbo dances with a broom to a Kraftwerk song (my brother pointed that out to me).

Trust me, Breakin' is by no means a good movie. It's badly acted and poorly scripted for the most part, but still a lot of fun to watch. Maybe one day soon, I'll watch Breakin' 2. If the first one is hilariously bad, the sequel should be a laugh riot.

(Postscript: I know that Breakin' is a Cannon release, produced by the hated Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus, but it isn't as bad as what they would produce later.)

5.13.02